Top Hat Tap Dance

Top Hat Tap Dance

Entries Tagged as 'lists'

Possible Prequels to CBS Sitcom ‘Gary Unmarried,’ Based on Men I Did Not Marry

July 13th, 2009 · No Comments · lists

Gary Overuses the Word “Prerogative” Gary Slightly Racist Gary Shirtless MySpace Pic Gary Same Electronic Music Track Over and Over Gary Wonk Eye Gary Married Gary Almost Ran Over Someone With His Car And Laughed About It Gary Annoying Gary Are You In Yet? Gary Still Lives With His Parents Gary is Moving to LA [...]

[Read more →]

Tags:

Things That Arguably Constitute Torture

June 19th, 2009 · No Comments · lists

Don’t Buy: Swiss, treatment Jack, doctor and Cheddar Cheese Cubes ($5.99 per pint) Cheese cubes are far overpriced because of the phenomenal costs involved in maintaining a farm, feeding cows, and processing cheese. Add to that the costs of freshness and cubing, and you’re paying a small army of workers and cows for a snack [...]

[Read more →]

Tags:

Party Food Shopping on a Budget

June 17th, 2009 · 1 Comment · lists

Don’t Buy: Swiss, treatment Jack, doctor and Cheddar Cheese Cubes ($5.99 per pint) Cheese cubes are far overpriced because of the phenomenal costs involved in maintaining a farm, feeding cows, and processing cheese. Add to that the costs of freshness and cubing, and you’re paying a small army of workers and cows for a snack [...]

[Read more →]

Tags:

A Personal Injury Lawyer Goes on a Date

June 11th, 2009 · 2 Comments · lists

“Hi, misbirth I hope you don’t mind my being forward, but I’d love to get a piece of that asbestos litigation.” “Waiter, my proteins are undercooked — and these endless breadsticks are going to make me obese.” “You know, this Vioxx isn’t the only thing making my heart race.” “Would you like to come up for [...]

[Read more →]

Tags:·

The Anagrams Confirm All of Newt Gingrich's Fears

June 10th, 2009 · 1 Comment · lists

Peanut Butter and Pistachio Sandwich Roasted Pistachios Raw Pistachios Salted Pistachios Buttered Pistachios Roasted Buttered Raw Pistachios with Sea Salt Pistachio Platter Salmonella on Rye Barack Obama nominates Sonia Sotomayor “Meany bison robot riots soon! Aaack! Mama!” Justice Sonia Sotomayor “US air too sooty. SEC in jam.” Sotomayor and Scalia “Aaaa, cheapest Colostomy Rinds!” (alternatively, [...]

[Read more →]

Tags:·