Top Hat Tap Dance

That’s What My Dryer Vent Cleaner Said

tophattapdance — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 00:54:59 +0000

Poke it in and then angle it up.

Come down and do it about 4 or 5 times.

Count to 40 and then turn it on. Turn it off!

Just keep smashing it in there.

Feel that heat?

My Goat Don’t Fit!

tophattapdance — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 04:26:40 +0000

by Todd Mein

Why Are You a Stripper?

tophattapdance — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 02:11:20 +0000

Warning: NSFW

by Todd Mein

Rejected Late-Night Talk Show Monologue Jokes: Green Edition

tophattapdance — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 05:43:11 +0000

Hotels are going green to attract more business. Yeah, it’s already happening — Four Seasons will stop throwing away beds after each use, and La Quintas will continue to never wash anything.

Singapore has developed a videogame that engages kids in environmental issues. In the game, players have to protect Singapore against mosquito-like aliens. Kids who aren’t able to beat the game will face the death penalty.

NASA isn’t too happy about all the hysteria the new movie 2012 is drumming up about the end of the world. They’re right: The end of the world will come the day someone cares about NASA.

Anybody into carbon trading? Well, activists say it’s bad for the environment and could even lead to a financial collapse. Great. I guess I’ll just throw all of these receipts out the window on my way home tonight.

There’s a new 11-part nature series on the BBC called “Life” — it’ll be narrated by Oprah Winfrey. Spoiler alert! At the end of the first episode, every lion in the audience gets a free dead zebra.

An airport in England has announced plans to run a bus with a fuel produced from decomposing organic waste. I had no idea Kirstie Alley was overseas.

Joke for Nerds Only

tophattapdance — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:21:37 +0000

What do you get when you take a bunch of vinegar, water, and salt, boil it, pour it over a jar filled with MS-DOS, seal the jar, and let it cool for several weeks?

DILLDOS

Creative Commons licensed - by thebittenword.com

Owl City Lyrics or Really Bad Songwriting?

tophattapdance — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:04:17 +0000

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep
Cause they fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere

I’d like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It’s hard to say that I’d
Rather stay awake when I’m asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

If the bombs go off
The sun will still be shining
Because we’ve heard it said that every mushroom cloud
Has a silver lining

High rise, veins of the avenue
Bright eyes and subtle variations of blue
Everywhere is balanced there like a rainbow above you

It makes me smile because you said it best
I would clearly feel blessed if the sun rose up from the west
Flower bomb perfume
All my clothes smell like you cause your favorite shade is navy blue

Answers:
Owl City lyrics: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Really bad songwriting: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

by Hansel McRobertsworth