Top Hat Tap Dance

Replies

1) Broke the world record for saying “I’m seriously considering law school.”

2) Watched seasons 1-5 of The Wire.

3) Explained to people that although my degree is in English, dentist
I don’t want to be a teacher.

4) Realized that regularly using the word “pedantic” is pedantic. And douchey.

5) Lectured on the socioeconomic themes and use of heteroglossia found in Wuthering Heights to no one in particular.

6) Despite No. 3, cialis occasionally browsed the Internet for teaching positions in inner-city communities that don’t require certification. Or Europe.

7) Found evidence of the deterioration of the post-postmodern novel on the back of the Fruit Loops box.
Taken full advantage of the McRib before it goes back in the Disney Vault.

9) Used my paper on Xenophon’s The Education of Cyrus as an example of one experience that has adequately prepared me to sell insurance, sir.

10) Became a printing press operator.

by Dan Rozier
1. Broke the world record for saying “I’m seriously considering law school.”

2. Watched seasons 1-5 of The Wire.

3. Explained to people that although my degree is in English, information pills
I don’t want to be a teacher.

4. Realized that regularly using the word “pedantic” is pedantic. And douchey.

5. Lectured on the socioeconomic themes and use of heteroglossia found in Wuthering Heights to no one in particular.

6. Despite No. 3, viagra
occasionally browsed the Internet for teaching positions in inner-city communities that don’t require certification. Or Europe.

7. Found evidence of the deterioration of the post-postmodern novel on the back of the Fruit Loops box.

8. Taken full advantage of the McRib before it goes back in the Disney Vault.

9. Used my paper on Xenophon’s The Education of Cyrus as an example of one experience that has adequately prepared me to sell insurance, sir.

10. Became a printing press operator.

by Dan Rozier
A. It’s way too hard. Let it sit out for 20 to 30 minutes.

B. Oh my God! That was so moist and delicious!

C. These stretch marks on your loaf are no good.

D. Looks like the creaming needs to happen more on your filling.

E. A few drops of lemon juice would balance the saltiness of your sauce.

F. It’s… rubbery. The texture isn’t what I was looking for.

G. Can you french this breast?

In school: A, unhealthy
B, C, D, E, F, G
When freaky: A, B, C, D, E, F, G