Top Hat Tap Dance

Creative Commons licensed - by Detlef C

Shaquille O’neal is in a middle coach seat. He is so tall that his knees touch the top of the headrest in front of him, drug even though his feet are flat on the ground. His head touches the part where the lights/air vents are, yet his face is an inch from his knees. On either side of shaq are two ridiculously fat guys. It is like a fat sandwich with Shaquille O’neal as the meat; every cubic inch of that row of seats is filled with flesh.

Creative Commons licensed - by Keith Allison

Because the row containing Shaq and the fat guys is so heavy, the plane has to be balanced out by seating an elephant in the row opposite them. The elephant is very loud, and it makes the plane ride even more uncomfortable for Mr. O’neal.

The rest of the plane’s 223 seats are filled with clowns.

(With the exception of one seat in first class, in which actor Gary Sinese sits. He is kind of serious, so it is weird to see him amongst so many clowns.)

The flight attendant gets pretty annoyed because every time she asks a clown what he wants to drink, he says, “Seltzer,” and proceeds to spray such at her from a flower on his lapel. And every time she asks a clown if he wants a blanket, he says, “I already have one up my sleeve!” and proceeds to pull out an endless rope of colorful handkerchiefs. The plane is soon messy with the clowns’ props.

etc./to be continued