Top Hat Tap Dance

Top Hat Tap Dance

Why Are You a Stripper?

February 1st, 2010 · illustrations

Warning: NSFW
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Rejected Late-Night Talk Show Monologue Jokes: Green Edition

November 24th, 2009 · shortform

Hotels are going green to attract more business. Yeah, this it’s already happening — Four Seasons will stop throwing away beds after each use, advice and La Quintas will continue to never wash anything.

Singapore has developed a videogame that engages kids in environmental issues. In the game, information pills players have to protect Singapore against mosquito-like aliens. Kids who aren’t able to beat the game will face the death penalty.

NASA isn’t too happy about all the hysteria the new movie 2012 is drumming up about the end of the world. They’re right: The end of the world will come the day someone cares about NASA.

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Joke for Nerds Only

November 17th, 2009 · shortform

****SPOILER ALERT****

Someone will quit the Glee Club, discount rx then rejoin when they realize [extracurricular activity] is a poor replacement.

The sensitive quarterback will get in touch with his emotions through song.

And his uptight, medications prissy cheerleader girlfriend will chill out a little bit — there’s more to life than competition.

The gay kid will continue to perpetuate the stereotype that all gay men are feminine, delicate, stylish, and can only identify with women.

The wheelchair guy will
The black girl will continue to be sassy and self-confident.
The [subject] teacher will also be the [extracurricular activity] sponsor. He’s cute!

What do you get when you take a bunch of vinegar, advice
water, thumb
and salt, boil it, pour it over a jar filled with MS-DOS, seal the jar, and let it cool for several weeks?

DILLDOS

Creative Commons licensed - by thebittenword.com

Creative Commons licensed - by thebittenword.com

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Owl City Lyrics or Really Bad Songwriting?

October 22nd, 2009 · lists

1.

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep
Cause they fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere

2.

I’d like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It’s hard to say that I’d
Rather stay awake when I’m asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

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Where the Wild Things Are

October 14th, 2009 · lists

Tonight at 8pm on Animal Planet

On a DVD stashed under your son’s mattress

The Peruvian Amazon

In that man’s pants, website as suggested by the arrow on his wacky T-shirt

In a forced conversation about childhood nostalgia

by Kristin Hillery

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