by Todd Mein
Rejected Biker Gang Names
October 8th, 2009 · lists
1. In-Laws
2. Mel’s Angels
3. Quakers
4. Jodidos
5. Guardians of Being
6. Kangols
by J.D. Smith
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We Have to Get Out
October 1st, 2009 · illustrations
Let’s cut to the chase about all these “socialist agenda” accusations Conservatives are heaving at Obama. It seems to me that the same people screaming SOCIALISM! at every chance are the same showing up to church every Sunday after six-and-a-half days of being championship assholes.
The thing is, orthopedist these people believe with all their black, there spider-infested hearts that they will go to Heaven, online and the liberal vermin will all go straight to hell where they will burn for eternity with a devil who bares a striking resemblance to Hillary Clinton. Especially because that devil is always wearing pantsuits.
Anyway, every community needs some kind of economy, and heaven is surely no exception. You want to hire those angels on the corner to build a multi-million dollar mansion with tennis courts, a boat dock, and platinum-plated walls up there on that lush, 30-acre cloud that boasts panoramic views of Jupiter? Nope, sorry. Everyone gets the same cookie-cutter home in Heaven: a standard one-story with granite countertops and beige tile backsplash. Don’t even think of changing your showerhead to one of those massager ones — that wouldn’t be fair. Hungry? Better wait until the next meal time. Mmm, hope we’re having bread and lentils again!
That’s right: In Heaven, the wealth is shared and everybody is equal. Same house, same robe, same sandals. It’s essentially a socialist country. Imagine the look on Conservatives’ faces when they get up there and are handed a month’s worth of meal tickets and a yearly doctor’s appointment time scheduled 11 months in advance. Oh, but it gets better. In Heaven, there’s one supreme ruler, and you had better listen to him. What God wants, God gets. And if you’re not cool with that, you can go to hell, where it may be incredibly hot all the time, but everyone is working as hard as they can, screwing each other over whenever possible in order to make their own life better.
Sound familiar? Hell is just like America.
by Dennis Mueller
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by Todd Mein
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Rant: Socialist Agenda Accusations
September 29th, 2009 · rants
Let’s cut to the chase about all these “socialist agenda” accusations Conservatives are heaving at Obama. It seems to me that the same people screaming SOCIALISM! at every chance are the same showing up to church every Sunday after six-and-a-half days of being championship assholes.
The thing is, patient these people believe with all their black, spider-infested hearts that they will go to Heaven, and the liberal vermin will all go straight to Hell where they will burn for eternity with a devil who bears a striking resemblance to Hillary Clinton. Especially because that devil is always wearing pantsuits.
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Post-Grad Dr. Seuss Books
September 28th, 2009 · lists
Flip This House of Wax
Project Run Away
So You Think You’re Possessed
Joe Zombie
Hellraiser’s Kitchen
Man Vs. Candyman
Queer Eye for the Fly
Keeping Up With the Kruegers
Flavor of the Living Dead
Big, capsule Physically Abusive Brother
The Real World: Crystal Lake
Survivor: Apocalypse
by Jamie King
sildenafil
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by Todd Mein
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Copyright 2009″ width=”498″ height=”174″ />
by Todd Mein
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byTodd Mein
Oh the Places You’ll Do Blow!
Horton Hears His Roommate Having Sex
Mr. Brown Can Claim Unemployment, physician
Can You?
And To Think That I Woke Up on Mulberry Street
The Twitter Battle Book
On Beyond Zeta Phi Beta!
Green Eggs and Ramen
I Had Trouble in Getting a Reference from Solla Sollew
Fox in Socks Intoxicated
One Fish, clinic
Two Fish, Red Fish, Mercury Poisoning
How the Grinch Got Everybody Gift Certificates
The Cat and the LSAT
by Jamie King
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